Dig man Dig

Aristotle once said that all virtue is summed up in dealing justly. So, advocating that with a strong desire to exact revenge, consideration for action not only employs justice, but as Proverb puts it a hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered. When a person has the ability to clear ones good name based upon facts, it is always tempting to do so by lashing out at the perverse nature of those that fondle your reputation dishonorably. Yet, by that proclamation, we call upon ourselves the ill repute for which we are accused. Years ago (15) I perhaps should have defended myself against a similar incident I now find myself in, however their fate did not go impuned. My natue really demanded me to call to everyones attention and to everyones delight the error and degrading nature of the ones that brought charges (accusations) against me. The other nature requested to walk away. I obliged the later. Consequently, though I find no joy in the demise of others, I gained knowledge and wisdom by their subsequent plight. I moved onward and upward and did well for my family. So, now I consider where I am. Midnights, making more money, not in a fulfilling job, yet paused in lifes affairs to wonder. Why am I here and where will I go. Short term with passing the boards for PMHNP is not in question, but I ask why am I doing what I deplored to ever do again (mainly midnights). It's not easy. Today, my eyes are tired, spirit willing, but my mind is weaker. I am not sure how to proceed with my mind in this state. I trust my help will come from the most likely source in my life. That He will deliver me as he always has. This is expected. It will improve, but why am I here? What am I to learn? These things detract from my time with the family and people in my life. Am I suppose to be distracted in order to focus more on them? I have another ditch to dig to drain water off my property. The rains lately have caused large bodies of standing water that require leveling to drain into the main water way. Somehow, I think it relates, but my mind is too weary to figure it out. Atleast I know I need to get out there right now and dig.