I'm a man and I nurse

It occured to me that I mention age frequently. I suppose that I am not old, relatively speaking. It just feels like it sometimes. They say (whoever they are) that once you pass fourty it all begins to repeat itself. I wish I never learned that little phrase. Let me digress with a purpose. I rather enjoy laying in bed watching Court TV. The shows about murder, plots, mysteries and mystics only surpase my all time favorite of Ghost Hunters. If you watch this long enough, you know where it is all going. The plot is kind of ruined, because your familiar with the "who donit" in the cases. My sprint into the other half of my life begins with the "who donit" kinda figured out. If you get a gutteral feeling that there is a story coming you 1) know me or 2) your over 40. When I first interviewed at Memorial Hermann for the Psych Crisis Response Team, I interviewed with this, let me be nice, lady (I own the option to capitalize where I want). This person named Dona Gambrel took a quick view at my qualifications and said "oh, you don't have alot of med-surg experience, that might hurt you here). Instantly, I felt an overwhelming inner sense, indescribable really. At first I thought it was gas, but then I realized it may have been, but it was not I that was stinking here. Think of it as a shot across the bow. I remember driving home thinking on that inner indescribable reality and quite frankly felt relieved they did not give me an answer that day. I knew I would turn it down, my intuition was mandating the little bit of wisdom I had. The jostle set, no more message necessary, I took to reclining myself to where I was currently stationed. The private practice did not pay much, but I didn't do if for the pay. The reward was not monetary. Patient after patient were amused or amazed that I took my time, expressed an interest and genuinely cared. I felt I cared. There were many embarassing moments about the married Mom's on Paxil asking me advise. My collaboration with a womans health practitioner helped. Eventually, I could use words that were not part of my routine vocabulary, to assist in bringing more value to their relationships without blushing. I was helping and when my rumination brought about familiar emotions regarding Herman, I knew that Dona Gambrel was absolutely not worth it. They did call me back. They stated, they wanted to talk to me again. Theresa Fawvor a social worker, wanted to talk with me about my CV and the position, etc . . . The interview was not with Dona and I reconsidered, because I wanted to explore what role Dona would have in my daily responsibilities. At that time, I was autonomous pretty much, making independent decisions and not caught up in office politics. So, having a micromanaged environment was not what I was after. Never the less, I went to speak with Theresa. Much to my chagrin, Dona was there. She was dressed up, looking quit spiffy for an old nurse. I also believed I could smell the fragrance of White Diamonds. I think. Anyways, she was the pleasant one during that interview. She laughed, smiled and said some very lifting statements regarding my qualifications. Naturally, being in the mental health field, I payed no mind to the contradictions in presentations from the first visit to the last. I volleyed briefly on my initial impressions and the current one. I dismissed my intuition and eagerly, happily and with zeal, took on my new position as Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. Being a man in a very female dominated profession is not as advantageous as one would think. There is a place for a man, at home, at work and especially in nursing. I suppose if you could define a male nurse you would include this definition: "a person with genitalia protruding from the inferior aspect of the suprapubis, with usually two gonadal almond shaped glands of varying sizes below the protrusion, whose chemical constitution is derived from these gonadal glands producing 17β-hydroxy-4-androsten-3-one unlike the complex female hormones of estradiol, estriol, and estrone all of which contain one or two hydroxyl groups connected to the D ring or estrone of the ketone group. The classic characteristics for this genderized professional would be such that makes this species less flaccid than the opposing gender. Hence the symbolic sterotype of ♂. Their chivalrous character unfeminizing toward others, attempts to usurp progress in the field of nursing and requires (utilizing their terminology) conterinsurgency. Industrious efforts include unconvential venues passed along through maternal underpinnings of deceptive and covert effete efforts to demoralize their premises. Male nurses: Oxymorons of unknown origin". When a person decides to end their life, they have embraced hopelessness and despair with a conclusion of either drastic measures for help or ending the pain with suicide. It matters little that the person attempted to die 1 time or 8 times. The depth of the feeling is the same - pain. People I have spoke with and tried to help appeared satisfied that I gave of myself to them. I gave them attention, time and words to comfort their pain. I tried to help. Each person was a life, a real serious single person crying, screaming in the darkness of their despair. It was either death or life when they came to the emergency room and I, I would either do little to influence one way or the other, be impersonal and treat them as a bed I needed to clear or finally this option which I chose, a positive surprise they were not expecting. A person who understands, empathizes, listens and feels what they feel. Then helps. Dona Gambrel wanted to know what was taking me so long. Why I could not just "get that patient out of there". Saving a buck. Each patient that stays in that bed will cost the hospital money. They need to "clear the bed". I erred in an effort to provide a service of humanity in a corporate environment. In my protest toward "time management" and being bullied, I was and am summarily discharged of my responsibilities. There story does not end there. The rule of radical feminism in nursing is exclusionary. Their aim is to disrupt the oppressive male dominated system. Dona Gambrel is such a person. Her collusion with Jane Mahoney RN PhD has come back to haunt me. One day in 2005, I mentioned to Jane Mahoney that men have a unique and impressive strong trait that can compliment nursing. This was my error. From that point forward there was conflict. As a radical feminist she abhored my recommended reading of "The Village Blacksmith". http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/longfellow/thevillage.shtml. I had attended a group, this group was unique, but had a sister group. It was called "Men's Sexuality" and concurrent was the womans group appropriately titled "Womens Sexuality" which I had not attended, since I was at the mens group. I mentioned this to Mahoney. One day during our psychiatric discourse, I had stated "I attended a men's sexuality group". This seemed to astound the radical feminist. I held my peace. Her intrusive aberrant thoughts excreted from her mouth "So, what do they talk about, child molesting?". The battle was lost long before it began. The network of radical feminists run deep. Their ties are known, there actions need no explanation. They want to undermine male dominance and men in any position, especially nursing. It pangs me to know that such an important profession, such delicate lives (patients) are actually affected by radical feminists http://fathersforlife.org/feminism/feminism_terms_defined.htm. So, as Dona and Mahoney colluded and succeeded I have resigned myself to acknowledge my plight. I must move on. Men are different than women. This is a big surprise to the feminist. Men are predictable, compassionate, great advocates, defenders and liberators. Yet, we are victims when playing in the field where feminist reside. A very good analogy is this. Let's say Janice Joplin had a job at a major corporation. She talks to the VP: "Your proposals were outstanding and well thought out, good job, sir" Imagine Janice Joplins voice and looks. The VP looks at her and said "thank Janice, did you finish the project I assigned you?". Next we have Janice Joplin average looking with white teeth, washed hair and not too bad looking. Janice Joplin: "Sir, I must compliment you on that proposal, everyone likes it, well done sir". VP looks at her and said "Why thank you Jan. Your very observant, you may go places here" NEXT, Janice Joplin, looking fabulous, make up, Dollish figure, an absolute knock out. "Sir, You were fabulous on that presentation, wow, that was really good. You worked real hard on that and it shows". VP looks at her and said "Well, hello J. Your looking really good yourself. Hey, know what goes before J? Huh??? Huh??? laughing" Janice says "Sir, you are sooo funny. I have not heard that one". NOW the feminist Willie Nelson is the figure for this one: "Howdy Gloria, you did a fine job on that proposal, mighty good". VP Gloria said "Yea, thats my job, you got work to do?" Willie Nelson shaved, dressed in a nice suite, smelling like the cologne Black with cuff links on. "Gloria, that was a might fine job on that presentation, it was very creative and well, wow" VP Gloria "Listen, BILL, I can do that right? I am capable of that and much more. Where are your productivity charts. Have you been keeping up with them?" NEXT Willie Nelson not looking like Willie, buff, clean, blue eyes, shaved sharp looking suite, leather shoes polished, teeth whiter than an egg shell and smelling like money". Willie said "Gloria, great job, your really moving out there, congrats" VP Gloria, "Listen Billie, you have nothing creative to say, then get back to work. What are you working on anyways?". I'm done. I feel better getting this out. I know that no one will really read this so . . . I have sent this sight to family and friends. Some have emailed me back, others, well there are no notes posted. That is ok. Talk about isolated. Self esteem check here. Is this battery working on the self esteem gauge? I need to get new batteries. I'm going to take a shower, dig a ditch tomorrow (very masculine ditch) and probably watch Court TV. Laying in bed all day sounds good too. Oh, doing that requires that I validate my existence by having a job. Got one. A good filler til I pass my boards. Doing Psych Family this time. I will be an NP one day. I plan on management so I can defeat the radical feminist and smell like sweat, have a 5pm shadow all day and rule, rule RULE! ahhahahahahaha. I'm in charge one day and no one, no one can stop me! hahahaha. I forgot to buy the milk at HEB. Note to self, get milk. Rambling. Update tomorrow. Story needs to be finished as boring as it is.