Fruits of the Spirit

I recently returned from a trip back to the old homestead. I was looking to park at the MIL's and happened upon an old neighbor. He confessed that he sometimes read this blog. Surprised by this, I went speechless for a moment. Then I noted his demeanor following his confession. It appeared as if Ben S. was disturbed after mentioning this. He looked at me as if my dog died. You know, the "I hope your doing better" look. When I returned from my excursion, I was compelled to re-read my blogs to see what it was that caused Ben's countenance to change. I think I know what it is. Perhaps each title should read "Ramblings of a mad man". These years in psychiatry may have twisted my mind a bit. I wish I had a philosophical take on my blogs. I don't. Ben is one of the good men. You know honest, hard working and quiet. A former Peace Corp volunteer, he has a compassionate side to him. Maybe thats what it was. I felt his compassion, though I was not sure why. No doubt he has seen delerium from malaria and found a similarity with my rambling. But, Ben, I don't wish to lose my only reader. On with my blogging and mispelled words.
Church stories are getting more interesting. The new pastor has cracked the whip, though its more like dental floss than cow hide. Wednesdays now include a dinner at 545 according to a mailed out announcement several weeks ago. These fundamentalists must be watched closely. Baptist eat too much as it is. You get a pastor pushing food on his congregation, the next thing you know all chaos breaks out and the church splits. The womens pilate group "Rolls & Buns" have already lodged their complaint through official channels - - - themselves. Word gets out though. Its hard to keep secrets there at church especially with the R & B club. Talk has it they have decided to usurp the pastors authority. The third Wednesday of the dinner they launched their little coupe. On the menu: Salads of various sorts, fresh fruit, vegitibles and what some thought was eggplant. They knew this because everytime people walked by the dish, someone would say "I think thats eggplant" as if to warn them before they scooped it on their plate. Well, this dinner went off just smashingly. It was a hit. Everyone was commenting on how it was such a good idea to eat healthy. The salads were crisp, the crackers cracky and the fruit unbruised and appealing. The following Wednesday would be better than the last. There was a slight problem the following Wednesday. Very few people showed up. Those that did come were the couples whose wives mixed the salad or made the fruit bowles. There was a little over a handful of people. Apparently last minute cancelations from the other women didn't help matters much either. Seems some kind of bug was going around, their husbands home sick, or some business trip. The pastor, ever faithful, enjoyed the salads, but was reportedly distracted in thought most of the evening. Even the bible study seemed a little green. That Sunday though, he delivered a most impressive sermon. The message was a bit circumstantial, but it came back around to a theme. He illustrated how sin began in the Gaardeen of EaTen (wasn't sure if I heard that right, but yep--EaTen). That it was in that GAARDEEN that eve presented Adam with the FRUIT from the vine. This is kind of where he lost me though. He went on about the fruit, how fruit is the "rippened ovaries of a flowering plant" according to wikipedia (I didn't know that so- I was sure to write it on the notes page of the bulletin). He said that it could have been any kind of fruit, then proceeded to name them "Berry's, plums, watermelon and even olives were fruits". This olive part was an impressive bit of knowledge AND just happened to be the Pilates instructors name. He added that fruit is used to make alcohol and "we don't need to expound upon the sins of strong drink". He made his way to Cain and Abel. Turns out God hates vegitibles and fruits too! Cains name may have even originated from the sugar cane (he was challenged on that later by the Minister of Education-Dr. D), but he was on a roll. He articulated that fruits and vegitibles have ushered in the severance in our relationship with God and subsequently the downfall and spiritual death of all. During the alter call, you could have heard a pin drop. Someone started to whisper something and about 10 woman turned their heads and said "SSHHH". I'm looking forward to this Wednesday dinner. The menu is usually out by now, but its been delayed. The pastor caved to the deacons request for a committee meeting on these Wednesday dinners. Actually, two committee's were formed. The Cain Committee and The Abel Committee to seperately work on menu items. The R & B's meet every Tuesday morning.